Week in Sloth

Thursday 15

“30 Rock” (KOB-4 8:30 p.m.) In tonight’s fourth season premiere, Kenneth leads an NBC page strike, but guest star Steve Buscemi gets called in as a strike breaker.

“Mall Cops” (TLC 8 p.m.) A mere—what?—six months after the Paul Blart: Mall Cop / Observe and Report brouhaha, TLC unveils a reality show about shopping mall cops. At least they’re starting at the top: Minnesota’s Mall of America.

Friday 16

“13 Scarier Movie Moments” (Bravo 7 p.m.) If these are, in fact, scarier, doesn’t that mean Bravo’s “100 Scariest Movie Moments” was bunk?

“The Brave and the Bold” (Cartoon Network 8:30 p.m.) CN’s DC Comics team-up toon returns from hiatus by sticking Batman with supersoldier of the future OMAC. But will he be the classic Jack Kirby dude or the boring, reimagined cyborg from Infinity Crisis? ... Non-nerds are free to move on to the next listing, by the way.

“Lobstermen: Jeopardy at Sea” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Sadly, not a documentary series about men who look like crustaceans, but a beat-for-beat rip-off of “The Deadliest Catch” with lobsters instead of crabs.

“NBC News Special: Secrets of the Lost Symbol” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) Or “One-Hour Commercial for Dan Brown’s New Book.” Whichever you prefer.

Saturday 17

Sorority Wars (Lifetime 7 p.m.) A college freshman (Lucy Hale) refuses to pledge the sorority that her mom (Courtney Thorne-Smith) did. Somehow, this touches off a “sorority war”—which I imagine involves Jell-O shots.

“The 2009 FOX Reality Channel Really Awards” (FRC 8 p.m.) Gee, I hope Jon and Kate don’t have to sit next to each other. Awkward!

Sunday 18

Occupation (BBC America 7 p.m.) Three British soldiers return from Iraq and try to readjust to civilian life in this hard-hitting BBC miniseries.

“The Simpsons” (FOX 7 p.m.) They’re jumping the gun on Halloween a bit, but who cares when it’s “Treehouse of Horrors XX”? There will be zombies.

“Monty Python: Almost the Truth (The Lawyer’s Cut)” (IFC 7 p.m.) IFC kicks off a weeklong definitive documentary about the history and legacy of Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

Monday 19

“Extreme Paranormal: New Mexico State” (A&E 8 p.m.) From the press kit: “Investigators try to provoke violent spirits by re-creating moments from a riot that claimed the lives of 33 convicts who were hacked, burned alive and tortured at the New Mexico State Penitentiary in 1980.” ... Jeez, I don’t even believe in ghosts and that sounds like a terrible idea.

Tuesday 20

Directed by William Castle (TCM 6 p.m.) TCM gets us in the holiday mood with a marathon from spookshow king William Castle. Films include 1961’s Mr. Sardonicus, 1964’s Straight-Jacket, 1959’s The Tingler, 1960’s 13 Ghosts and 1963’s The Old Dark House.

Wednesday 21

“Lock ‘N Load” (Showtime 9 p.m.) Showtime gets into the reality show sweepstakes with this new series, which does for Colorado gun shops what “Pawn Stars” did for Nevada pawnshops.